Happy St Patrick's Day!

I made some Valentine cards with my new digital scrapbooking skills/supplies and I had so much fun doing it that I decided to make it a monthly tradition.  I'll start posting them once a month but here are the Valentines from last month also:

Embryos

Here are our embryo pictures from yesterday.  They look very different from Morgan and Teagan's (which are also below) because:

1. They are Day 6 instead of Day 3 like Morgs and Teags and have made it to the Blastocyst stage. 
2. Each embryo has over 100 cells. In Morgan's and Teagan's each circle is a cell so you can see there are only a handful of cells at that point. 
3. They have ice crystals in them.  Apparently they can recover from the freezing but they definitely look like they've been through a bit of trauma.

They take these pictures about 5 minutes before implanting them. They have a big screen hooked up to the microscope so they let you look at them first and then you watch as they suck them up into the catheter.  30 seconds later, you're pregnant.  It's pretty fascinating actually.  My body has known what to do with them so far so good luck babies!



Possible Baby 3 and Possible Baby 4



One of these is Teagan

One of these is Morgan

The Numbers Are In

We went to Teagan's 18-month check up today and it's official: he really is a midget.  He was in the 5th percentile for both weight and height at his 1 year check up and he doesn't seem to have grown much since then so I thought he'd be off the bottom of the chart but surprisingly, there are a handful of children his age that are actually smaller than him. 

18 months old in percentile

Teagan
Weight: 4%
Height: 3%

Morgan
Weight: 40%
Height: 71%

Catching Up

I know, it's been forever! While I'm not depressed anymore I still am just not myself.  I don't know if it's this super long winter or the fertility drugs or something else but I just have a hard time being motivating to do much of anything.  Running errands, cleaning the house, blogging...whatever.  Blah!  Maybe spring will get me out of my funk.

Morgan is hysterical.  He's been holding full conversations since before he was 2 years old.  Now that he's 3 I really enjoy listening to him try out words or concepts for the first time.  For example: Teagan said a word for the first time and Morgan said "Teagan, you're so proud" meaning "I'm so proud."  Or when he sneezed really big and said "Whoa, those were two really big bless you's."  It's so fun.  And it's nice that while I don't have any adults to talk to all day, I at least have a toddler who pretends to be an adult so I don't go quite so crazy. 

Teagan is just as hysterical as his brother.  My favorite thing to do in the whole world is watch him dance.  I could sit and watch him all day and it would never get old.  Anytime any music comes on (commercials, ending credits, whatever) he starts dancing and it is the most amusing and adorable thing I have ever seen.  I love the cute little faces he makes too (see below).  And I love the fact that he is such a midget.  I hope he grows a little before he's a teenager but for now I love that he isn't growing up too fast.  He's 18 months old and still wears 3-6 month pants and size 2 shoes.  He looks more like 9 months old than 18 months old.  His doctor's appointment is Tuesday so I'll try to remember to get on and record his stats.  I'm thinking off the bottom of the chart this time. 

Baby Number 3 (and possibly 4) will hopefully be part of our family beginning this Thursday when we are implanting two more embryos.  This frozen cycle has been about a billion times easier than the two fresh ones we did with Morgan and Teagan so it hardly feels real.  I might be pregnant on Thursday.  I will hopefully be pregnant on Thursday.  And then we will have at least one more adorable little one for me to enjoy every day. 

Being a Mom is the most challenging thing I have ever done.  Sometimes I really feel like I'm going to lose it.  Sometimes I really wish I had a little more time to myself.  Sometimes I wish I could just do what I want when I want to do it.  Sometimes I think I'm doing to die if I don't get more sleep.  But being a Mom is also the most rewarding part of my life by far.  These boys bring me more joy than I ever thought was possible.  I am constantly smiling and laughing throughout the day (when I'm not pulling my hair out, of course).  They make all the hard things in life bearable.  No matter what we're going through at any given time, I find myself content and generally happy because I spend my days with these two little angels.  Having 3 kids seems a little overwhelming but I'm so excited to have another little angel in our family to multiply my joy. 

PS Morgan, I'm sorry if it seems like I take more pictures of Teagan but you just don't cooperate as well as your brother does.  You don't want me to take your picture and you pout and make sad faces or cover up your face all together.  Teagan, however, smiles and makes faces for me.  So for the record, I don't love Teagan more and it's totally your fault there are more good pictures of him : )



This is my favorite face that he makes...hillarious



Sleep

I have been REALLY tired lately.  So tired that even with a Dr Pepper first thing in the morning it's been all I can do not to nod off at my desk.  Wonder why? Last night I went to bed about 45 minutes after Teagan. Got up early, got ready, drove clear to North Salt Lake, worked for four hours, drove all the way back home, and was here for 10 minutes before Teagan got up this morning.  Hmmmm...maybe I'm so tired because I don't get enough sleep.  Just a thought....

Like Mother like Sons

The first picture of me is from this past May. And the boys from this evening.  Like Mother like Sons.  (Randy would never condescend to such tactics).

Your butt is getting bigger

Morgan just told me "Mom, your butt is getting bigger."  10 minutes later when I sat down in the banana chair he said "Mom, that's too small for you to sit in."  I'm starting to feel a bit self conscious.  Although, to be fair, he also told me I looked like a princess this morning.

Empathy

Before I had kids, I pretty much never got sick.  Like ever.  After having Morgan it was like he took my immune system with him when he left my body and I started getting sick all the time.  Since Teagan the tiny scraps of immune system that were remaining were also eradicated.  I'm not a big fan.  There aren't many things worse in this life than being really sick and still having to be a mom.  No matter how much I would like him to, Teagan can't just get up and make his own food or change his own diaper, not to mention all the other hundred things your kids want from you all day long.  So if I had a choice, I would choose to have a crappy immune system UNTIL I was a mom and then a great one thereafter, not the other way around.  But during the wee hours of this morning as I was putting clothes in the washing machine and washing puke off the floor after our second round of throw up all over the house, it occured to me that maybe I lost my immune system for a reason.  I had this very same illness on Wednesday.  Excruciating nausea coupled with excruciating stomach pain.  It was terrible.  I know EXACTLY what Morgan is going through because I was there just a couple days ago.  When he's screaming and crying about his stomach hurting, I know he's not just being whiny.  I know he really is in serious pain.  When he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time and makes yet another mess in his pants, I know it's not his fault.  When he's not sure if he needs to sit on the toilet or bend over the toilet and makes the wrong choice, I completely understand.  When Jesus suffered in Gethsemane he felt every single thing we would ever go through from sorrow to pain to guilt to despair.  He felt it all so he would know EXACTLY how we feel and thus be able to help us through it.  I know I've been a better mom today with Morgan because of what I went through a few days ago.  There have been MANY accidents and I haven't gotten frustrated one single time.  Obviously I'm not a big fan of cleaning them up and there have been a couple of times I almost lost it myself but I haven't had a single negative thought all day.  Only concern and love.  We spend so much time wondering why me?  Why do I have to go through this?  Why can't I just be healthy like I used to be? The Lord knows what He's doing with us.  If I have to have a crappy immune system and get sick all the time to become a tiny bit more like the Savior...I'll take it.  I'm so thankful for an all-knowing and loving Father who gives me what is best for me instead of what I want.

Pictures

It's been forever since I posted pictures so here are a few recent pictures:

Morgan & Teagan got a book for Christmas that plays very realistic animal noises (an adult book, not a kid book).  Morgan loves it but Teagan REALLY loves it.  Every time he hears one of the noises he puts is his hand up over his mouth like this.  It's so funny.

Don't kids think balls are fun?  Apparently not.

Tragedy brings perspective

I was about to lay down for nap time when I decided to check my google reader really fast before I laid down.  I read on my cousin's blog about a tragedy in her family and now, of course, I can't sleep so I thought maybe if I purged my thoughts I'd be able to actually relax get a little nap in.  My cousin's husband's sister's 20-month-old little boy died during the night.  I don't even know these people but I can't stop crying.  I can't even begin to contemplate losing Morgan or Teagan.  They are such sweet little angels and I love them more than words can ever express.  I can't imagine having to go through something like that.  I really can't imagine much worse in this life.  Just the idea that they could be taken from me makes me want to run in and hold them and never let them go.  And yet, just yesterday, I was saying "can't you leave me alone for even five seconds?"  My boys are very needy for whatever reason. They want my attention 24 hours a day (and yes, I really mean 24 hours since they even want to sleep on top of my head, just so long as they know I'm right there and can't go anywhere).  I can't even go to the bathroom in peace.  Sometimes it really starts to get on my nerves.  Sometimes it leaves me so frazzled at the end of the day I feel like I need to check myself into the mental hospital.  But man, what if I lost one of them?  When it comes down to it, what is most important?  Without question, they are the most important.  More important than checking facebook, or writing on my blog, or scrapbooking, or reading my book, or cleaning the house, or talking on the phone, or taking a shower, or exercising or whatever it is they are keeping me from doing.  The reason I feel so frazzled is because I fight it all day, trying to get stuff done while they beg for my attention.  Maybe I should stop fighting it, give them the attention, and to heck with everything else.  I'm sure the mother who lost her little boy last night would tell me to cherish every single moment I have with my boys.  If I knew I only had one week left with Morgan or Teagan I guarantee I would have spent my time differently than I did this past week.  But we never know what the future holds.  They could be taken from me at any time so I should live as if each day may be the last, because maybe it will be.  Tragedy always brings perspective.  I hope this tragedy will help me change my day-to-day attitude and help me to enjoy every second I have with my boys, even if it means I don't get to do anything else. 

Double Team

So it's been a while since I've blogged because I've been working through some issues with Lucifer.  For quite a while I've been having a hard time finding the motivation to do anything.  Every day is a struggle.  I don't want to clean the house.  I don't want to exercise.  I don't want to read my scriptures.  I don't want to eat right; in fact I've probably been eating 4 times more a day than I should since food is apparently the only way I know how to cope with life.  I don't want to play with toys for hours on end.  I don't want to hear anymore whining.  I don't want to go out in the freezing cold.  I don't want to hunt monsters or dinosaurs all day long.  I don't want to plan our cub scouts activity or even go to our cub scouts activity.  I don't want to plan my preschool lesson.  I don't want to go to the temple.  I don't want to read to the boys.  I don't want to teach the boys anything.  I don't want to run errands.  I'm stressed about the state of the world.  I'm stressed about money.  I'm stressed about the future.  Pretty much: I'm blah.  Ever get that way?  It starts slowly and you don't really recognize what's going on.  You wonder why you just can't get your life together and do the things you know you should, much less actually enjoy them (I love my boys more than life itself, there's no reason I shouldn't enjoy reading to them or playing with them).  The longer you feel this way, the worse you feel about yourself.  I'm a terrible mother.  I'm a terrible wife.  I'm a terrible housekeeper.  I'm a terrible daughter of God.  I can't do anything right.  I have absolutely no will-power or self-control or motivation.  The more you think this way, the worse you feel; the worse you feel, the less motivation you have.  It's a terrible cycle.  You don't know how you got here but you're in so deep a hole you don't know how to get out.  This is Satan's masterful double team.  And by double, I don't mean two.  I figure he has at least 5-10 devils working on me on a regular basis so by double team, I mean 10-20.  20 voices is a lot to ignore. 20 voices tempting you to just read a book or play on the internet or scrapbook instead of doing all the things you need to is hard to resist (I know what you're thinking: your biggest tempation is scrapbooking? Man, you have it hard).  20 voices telling you how worthless you are every second of every day really starts to wear you down.  I have felt so weighed down I can actually feel the pressure of all the extra devils surrounding me.  I don't know why he's working so hard on me but he's been totally successful.  Not only have I been a complete and utter failure at life lately, but a complete and utter failure about tuning Satan out and listening to the Spirit instead.  I've been listening to everything Satan and his devils having been saying to me and letting them tear me down.  And thus...no blogging.  I haven't had the motivation, nor the desire and what would I have written anyway?  Hey, I'm a loser that doesn't want to face life today.  What an interesting blog. 

There is some good news however.  First, I'm on my way back up.  I still don't want to do most of those things but at least I finally recognize the situation for what it is and at least want to fight back.  My personality is that of a fighter.  Figuring out that Satan is double teaming me and messing with me makes me kind of mad and makes me want to do something about it and show him he can't win that easily.  Second, because the gospel is such a central part of who I am and my testimony is pretty much unshakable, when I talk about a dark hole it's not even remotely as dark or as a deep as most people deal with.  I'm not talking about serious depression or suicidal thoughts or anything.  Just a basic blah-ness.  I'm usually a pretty happy person, even when times aren't the best.  I'm used to being super woman and getting more done than should be possible.  So being not so happy and getting nothing done and struggling with seemingly basic things is a big deal for me.  But it's not the kind of depression that many people face. 

Hopefully I'll be back to my old self soon and you'll start seeing more cute pictures and funny stories about my angels.  In the meantime, this is my official "I'm not going to take it anymore so you better just back off" to Lucifer.

Jesus is my sweetheart

Morgan: (out of the blue) Mom, Jesus is my sweetheart. He plays with me every single day and he takes me to the park and to school...

I miss boogers

Morgan: Mom, I miss boogers
Mom: You miss boogers?
Morgan: Yes, they're all gone from my nose. I can't find them in there and I miss them.

My Little Coach

Morgan is becoming quite the little coach.  He's always saying "you're doing a great job, mom."  "That looks beautiful, mom." "You can do it, mom."  It's so cute.  Sometimes it's in situations that are totally appropriate for coaching like the other day when I pulled the boys to the neighbor's in the wagon through a foot of snow and about died.  He coached me the whole way.  "Pull harder mom."  "You're doing a great job, mom." "You're almost there, mom."  But other times the situation doesn't exactly merit coaching.  My favorite is when he is so impressed over my ability to drive us to Walmart or something.  "Wow mom, you did it. Good job."  It's hilarious.  He's just so sincere and it's adorable.  And I have to say, when I was making this Bob the Builder cake for his birthday the other day, his coaching really helped.  I was thinking "oh man, this is so creepy looking."  But Morgan was saying "good job, mom, it looks great."  So, as long as he was impressed with his cake, I was good with it.

Morgan's birthday went pretty well minus us getting everyone else sick because we were felling better before the party and I didn't want to cancel it and have it overshadowed by Christmas the next weekend.  Whoops.  In some ways I can't believe Morgan is 3 already and in others I can't believe he's only 3.  For instance, I can't imagine life without him so it's crazy that he's only been part of my life for 3 years.  Also, he talks so well, learns so quickly and easily (if he wants to, of course) and comes up with ideas way beyond his years that you'd think he was much older than 3.  On the flip side, my sweet little baby is growing up way too fast.  He's already 3!  Every time I call him my baby he gets mad and says he's not a baby he's a big boy.  I try to explain to him that he is a big boy but he will always be my baby.  But he's not convinced.  Fortunately, at 3 years old, he still has his sweetness and is so lovable I can't resist kissing him a billion times a day.  But man, I dread the day he's not so sweet anymore.  Maybe I'll be lucky and he always be.  I just can't imagine him being a rebellious teenager that treats me like dirt.  It's just not possible.  Hopefully we have many many more birthdays before I have to start worrying about such things.  We sure love our Morgan! Happy birthday buddy!

Visit with Santa

Morgan told Santa he wanted a train.  When I asked him what Teagy should ask Santa for he said Teagan wanted a train too because "he'll break mine."

Teagan and his belly

Last night at my activity, I was sitting in the back row of the chapel because I didn't think Teagan was going to cooperate and be good through the whole thing.  Teagan starts walking up the aisle and flirting with all the other women.  When he got to the front he turned around and started walking back.  But this time, he pulled up his shirt and started rubbing his belly and showing it off to everyone.  He'd turn first to one side of the aisle and then the other rubbing his belly and didn't continue down the aisle until he was sure each woman saw how wonderful his belly was and smiled at him.  It was hilarious.

40 Day Walk with Christ - Days 34-40

Ok, so here's the deal.  When I started this whole journey I didn't start at 1 Nephi 1 because I had just started the BOM over again a few weeks before and didn't feel the need to re-read 1 Nephi all over again when I had just finished it.  So I started towards the beginning of 2 Nephi a couple chapters before where I was in my current reading (to match the reading schedule).  I finished the BOM a few days ago (day 34) but haven't had time for my blogging and since I finished life has gotten extra crazy for whatever reason.  Teagan hasn't been taking his naps, which is when I usually read, so even when I've been reading I've been distracted by children so I've gotten behind and I'm just not feeling up to catching up.  So I'm just going to call it good.  I still read the whole Book of Mormon, I just started a couple weeks early.  I'm good with it. 

We had our Relief Society activity that went a long with the Walk with Christ last night and in the days leading up to the activity I've been thinking about this whole thing and whether it really led me closer to Christ or not.  Do I feel closer to Christ than I did 40 days ago?  I didn't have any dramatic spiritual experiences.  I didn't have that "one moment" where you know this has changed your life.  But as I've thought about it, I have felt the spirit more abundantly in my life.  Not in the big I have the chills way, just in the small I feel good about life in general ways.  I think I've been enjoying the ins and outs of everyday life with my kids more.  I've felt more supported in the trials that are motherhood.  I've had my testimony re-affirmed about many principles.  So am I closer to Christ than I was?  I'm going to yes.  It's the little things that make the difference.

My favorite part about our activity last night was hearing about other mothers that are going through all the same things and feeling all the same things I am.  Satan tries to tell us how inadequate we are and how alone we are in our trials.  Other mothers love playing with toys ALL DAY LONG, what's wrong with you?  Other mothers can keep their house clean, what's wrong with you?  Other mothers don't want to pull their hair out or break out into tears over such little things.  What's wrong with you?  It gave me such peace to know there are so many women around me with the same struggles I have.  It was a good reminder that we're not supposed to be perfect because if we were we wouldn't need a Savior.  I am thankful for the scriptures.  And although I won't be reading 10 chapters a day, I know that if I continue to read from them every day my life will be better.  I will be blessed with the spirit.  I will be supported in my trials.  I will have the strength to get back up and keep going when I crash and burn.  The gospel is so great!  I'm so thankful for the knowledge and testimony I have that help me so much in my everyday life. 

My teachers

It's so true that you learn as much from kids as they learn from you.  Morgan is always teaching me things. 

As you may recall from a previous post, Morgan told me he wanted to walk by himself from now on after I tripped and he ended up with stitches.  Two days later he was asking me to help him up the stairs (the exact scenario in which my clumsiness landed him in urgent care).  He obviously hadn't forgotten about what happened (in fact every time someone asked what happened to his chin he very honestly told them that mom tripped and he hit his chin BANG and got stitches).  But he forgave me.  He didn't hold any grudges or negative feelings toward me.  Obviously it was an accident and I didn't do it on purpose but how often do we as adults get offended when someone didn't mean to offend us?  How often do we hold a grudge or ill feelings toward that person?  Kids forgive almost instantly.  If I lose my temper and yell at Morgan, he forgives me.  If I get mad at him and send him to his room, he forgives me.  Teagan is the same.  If he gets into trouble and goes to his crib, he sobs like it's the end of the world.  When I get him out he snuggles right into me and hangs onto me for dear life.  He isn't mad at me for putting him in there in the first place.  He just loves me.  Why do we lose this easy ability to forgive as we get older?

 We'll be driving down the road and Morgan will start yelling at the car in front of us to get out of our way or he'll call them a stupid jerk or an idiot.  And when he's yelling he doesn't sound very nice.  Hearing this come out of my two-year-olds' mouth is not pretty.  In fact, it's downright disturbing.  So obviously I'm thinking ok, I really need to watch what comes out of my mouth in front of Morgan.  But what makes me think it sounds any better coming out of my mouth even when Morgan isn't around?  As I see myself yelling like that I can see how ugly it really is.  It's not wrong because my toddler is mimicking me, it's wrong because it isn't Christ-like behavior. 

Other times when I yell at someone for cutting me off Morgan says "Mom, we don't call names." 

It's no wonder the scriptures say over and over again that we need to become "as a little child."  My boys are so amazing and I'm so grateful to have them as my teachers.

40 Day Walk with Christ - Day 33

Read Ether 11-15
Mark & Ponder Moroni 8:12
Scripture of the day: "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young nevertheless being large in stature, and also having a desire to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers." (1 Nephi 2:16)
Thought for the day: "We must cherish on another, watch over one another, and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together." (Lucy Mack Smith)

"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble...for if they will humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."  I have MANY weaknesses and they definitely make me humble because I'm always screwing up and having to ask forgiveness and than asking for help to not screw up again.  It's interesting how something can be so incredibly hard for one person but super easy for another person.  It makes sense that the Lord gives us our weaknesses because they aren't natural weaknesses for everybody.  The more we are down on our knees asking for help with that weakness, the more humble we will be which will in turn help us to become more like our Savior.  I'm sitting here trying to think of one of my weaknesses that has become a strength to me and I'm drawing a blank.  So I think I might pick one and start really focusing on it and exercising faith and see if I can't, through the Lord, turn it into a strength.  One of the great things about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that we can "experiment upon the word."  Don't have a testimony of tithing?  Try it out and see what happens.  Since I can't think of anything in my life that fits this particular promise of the Lord, I think I'll try an experiment and see what happens.

40 Day Walk with Christ - Days 31 & 32

Read Mormon 9 and Ether 1-3
Mark & Ponder Ether 12:41
Scripture of the day: "Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil...Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore having your loins girt about with truth, and having the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (Ephesians 6:11, 13-17)
Thought for the day: "Next to acquiring good friends, the best acquisition is that of a good book." (Charles Caleb Cotton)

One of favorite principles in the Book of Mormon is found in Ether 2: 24-25 and Ether 6:5-6. "For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea, for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth. And behold, I prepare against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come." "And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind. And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind."

I love this principle because it applies so much to my daily life.  The Lord sends wind and tempests against us to blow us toward exaltation.  If there weren't any storms the Jaredites boats would've just sat in the water and not moved and they wouldn't have made it to the promised land.  Likewise, without trials, tribulations, afflictions, etc we cannot progress.  The only way we can make it back to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus again is through our trials.  They move us toward Him.  He sends them because He loves us.  He also promises to "prepare us against these things."  He made their ships "tight as a dish."  He made sure they weren't swallowed up in the depths of the sea.  The Lord gives us the tools we need to get through our trials and He makes sure we aren't given more than we can handle.  These principles really help me when I'm going through something difficult because I know I can get through it.  I know the Lord is watching over me.  I know He will give me whatever I need to cope with my trials.  I know that through my trials I can become more like the Savior and get back to live with Him again. 


Read Ether 4-10
Mark & Ponder Moroni 7:16-17
Scripture of the day: "And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him and continue in fasting and prayer, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved." (Omni 1:26)
Thought for the day: "Success is not never falling down, but rising every time you fall."

This whole secret combination things makes we wonder about our day.  The oaths, signs, etc are given to men by Satan.  Moroni warns us that we should destroy all secret combinations among us or they will lead to our destruction but what form do they take in our day?  There are secret society such as the skulls which, at least according to Hollywood, completely fit the description given to us by Moroni.  But I don't know anything about these secret societies.  I have no idea what kind of wickedness they've done or how powerful they are or anything.  Gangs seem to fit the bill somewhat but law enforcement is always working on those and they seem to be on too small of a scale to destroy our nation.  Terrorists groups seem pretty likely but again, we are constantly trying to get rid of those.  We've even declared a "war on terror."  The last group I can think of are the revolutionaries currently trying to fundamentally change our country: George Soros and his ultra-left minions.  Each day there is new evidence that they've been putting things in place to destroy our country for a very long time.  They've done all these things secretly behind the scenes.  They want power.  They want to destroy freedom and liberty.  This group seems the most like the secret combinations found in the Book of Mormon to me.  And I think they really can prove our entire destruction.  So what do we do about it?  How can we destroy them before they destroy us and we repeat the pattern so often seen in the Book of Mormon.  I don't know the answer.