Empathy

Before I had kids, I pretty much never got sick.  Like ever.  After having Morgan it was like he took my immune system with him when he left my body and I started getting sick all the time.  Since Teagan the tiny scraps of immune system that were remaining were also eradicated.  I'm not a big fan.  There aren't many things worse in this life than being really sick and still having to be a mom.  No matter how much I would like him to, Teagan can't just get up and make his own food or change his own diaper, not to mention all the other hundred things your kids want from you all day long.  So if I had a choice, I would choose to have a crappy immune system UNTIL I was a mom and then a great one thereafter, not the other way around.  But during the wee hours of this morning as I was putting clothes in the washing machine and washing puke off the floor after our second round of throw up all over the house, it occured to me that maybe I lost my immune system for a reason.  I had this very same illness on Wednesday.  Excruciating nausea coupled with excruciating stomach pain.  It was terrible.  I know EXACTLY what Morgan is going through because I was there just a couple days ago.  When he's screaming and crying about his stomach hurting, I know he's not just being whiny.  I know he really is in serious pain.  When he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time and makes yet another mess in his pants, I know it's not his fault.  When he's not sure if he needs to sit on the toilet or bend over the toilet and makes the wrong choice, I completely understand.  When Jesus suffered in Gethsemane he felt every single thing we would ever go through from sorrow to pain to guilt to despair.  He felt it all so he would know EXACTLY how we feel and thus be able to help us through it.  I know I've been a better mom today with Morgan because of what I went through a few days ago.  There have been MANY accidents and I haven't gotten frustrated one single time.  Obviously I'm not a big fan of cleaning them up and there have been a couple of times I almost lost it myself but I haven't had a single negative thought all day.  Only concern and love.  We spend so much time wondering why me?  Why do I have to go through this?  Why can't I just be healthy like I used to be? The Lord knows what He's doing with us.  If I have to have a crappy immune system and get sick all the time to become a tiny bit more like the Savior...I'll take it.  I'm so thankful for an all-knowing and loving Father who gives me what is best for me instead of what I want.