Tragedy brings perspective

I was about to lay down for nap time when I decided to check my google reader really fast before I laid down.  I read on my cousin's blog about a tragedy in her family and now, of course, I can't sleep so I thought maybe if I purged my thoughts I'd be able to actually relax get a little nap in.  My cousin's husband's sister's 20-month-old little boy died during the night.  I don't even know these people but I can't stop crying.  I can't even begin to contemplate losing Morgan or Teagan.  They are such sweet little angels and I love them more than words can ever express.  I can't imagine having to go through something like that.  I really can't imagine much worse in this life.  Just the idea that they could be taken from me makes me want to run in and hold them and never let them go.  And yet, just yesterday, I was saying "can't you leave me alone for even five seconds?"  My boys are very needy for whatever reason. They want my attention 24 hours a day (and yes, I really mean 24 hours since they even want to sleep on top of my head, just so long as they know I'm right there and can't go anywhere).  I can't even go to the bathroom in peace.  Sometimes it really starts to get on my nerves.  Sometimes it leaves me so frazzled at the end of the day I feel like I need to check myself into the mental hospital.  But man, what if I lost one of them?  When it comes down to it, what is most important?  Without question, they are the most important.  More important than checking facebook, or writing on my blog, or scrapbooking, or reading my book, or cleaning the house, or talking on the phone, or taking a shower, or exercising or whatever it is they are keeping me from doing.  The reason I feel so frazzled is because I fight it all day, trying to get stuff done while they beg for my attention.  Maybe I should stop fighting it, give them the attention, and to heck with everything else.  I'm sure the mother who lost her little boy last night would tell me to cherish every single moment I have with my boys.  If I knew I only had one week left with Morgan or Teagan I guarantee I would have spent my time differently than I did this past week.  But we never know what the future holds.  They could be taken from me at any time so I should live as if each day may be the last, because maybe it will be.  Tragedy always brings perspective.  I hope this tragedy will help me change my day-to-day attitude and help me to enjoy every second I have with my boys, even if it means I don't get to do anything else.